Well if my expectations are correct the server, or rather Apache, is now crashing every morning instead of every Sunday morning. No, I'm not switching to another HTTPd.
Yes, I'm a stubborn motherfucker. What this means is that the server will now be down more often which is a huge pain in the fucking ass. I'll try to see what another computer I have laying around here does and if that performs better (aka doesn't fucking crash every morning) I'll use that until I can afford a new machine.
Fucking out.
Mokanote: Everything's working fine again.