often times when i have difficulty sleeping at night i lay awake staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, wondering of the great questions of life that have inspired some of the greatest philosophical minds to expound on countless volumes of inquiry, some lost to the sands of time but others preserved to the present through careful curation and adoration. what is the measure of a man? why does he wake up every day and toil, only to come back to the same place each night to rest himself so he can do it all again the following day? what if i didn't sleep on a bed? what if i didn't sleep in a house? how can you sleep in a way where you can react quickly enough so that predators don't kill you while you're sleeping in a bedless houseless hole in the ground? they are very tough questions to answer, there is no doubt about that at all
it is usually when i am deep in my inquiries into the human condition that all of my questions are answered in the form of an image that resolves itself in my mind's eye; a messy, half-remembered blur at first but slowly it continues to filter into my conscious mind. as if it were a candlelight in the dead of the night, as it comes into focus it quiets even the most tempestuous torrents of these thoughts, dulling the maddening calls of a thousand different voices fighting all at once in an attempt to resolve even the most basic of existential qualms. as the image sharpens and my mind starts to recognize the shape of this beacon of clarity amongst the storm, two definite figures emerge from the shapeless blob and my attention is immediately drawn to them
two large eyes, their perimeters lined with some sort of strange black substance. the moody outline is shockingly contrasted by the whites of the eye, which in turn shift colors as my mental gaze is forcefully drawn towards the center of the creature's hypnotic gaze, not unlike the bullseye of a dartboard. from white to pink, and finally to the same black that lines the eye holds the pupils, the essence of this creature, its very soul. i cannot look away, nor would i if i even had such an option
soon the entire amphitheater of my conscious mind is filled to its brim with this image, quickly it is recalled from the depths of my memory and even the most obscure details make themselves apparent and fill in with stunning accuracy and intense vivacity. the strange flowing hair tentacles that rest outside the canvas, presenting themselves as though they have tremendous weight; these tentacles contrast themselves heavily with the body of the creature they're attached to. a lithe, frail figure that would be more comparable to the circumference of a pencil than to any humanoid form holds up these incredible tentacles, all by a neck that's so thin that it beggars belief that such a thing could even be possible
however, rather than simply dismissing such a thing as an absurdity and an anatomical inaccuracy, i am endeared by the weightlessness this creature possesses. the weighty looking tentacles mean nothing to it, and it hardly even acknowledges their presence. attached to a head that has an equally absurd proportion to its body, i notice its lips curled upwards in a vague, almost intimidating smile. the nature of this smile is not unlike that of the mona lisa, the true intent of the expression impossible to truly understand without looking into the mind of the one making it. is it pride? is it vainglory? is it bliss? or could it be contempt? paired with wedged eyebrows that tell equally little to the viewer, i may never come to a conclusive answer to this question no matter how long i think about it
just as quickly as the image enters my mind, it fades away. have i glimpsed at perfection, the platonic form from which all beauty and purity on this earth flows from? why am i taunted with such an image that it deadens the greatest of my own lifes' questions even in its waning glory? much like many other philosophical inquiries, all of these questions go unanswered by the intruding silence of my bedroom as the darkness fills my vision
amidst all the uncertainty, of one thing i am certain: she is cute
https://twitter.com/whichdoll/status/1141714264949846016
tfw octo gf never
and here's a really good marie
https://twitter.com/whichdoll/status/1140993796366188544
