That's brilliant. I used to work for a one-legged one-eyed cook who got into all kinds of mischief in his youthful years (as his body told) and he was exceptionally nice to me and the customers, he would give freebies whenever he had time and excess to prepare them regardless of who walked in the door.
I didn't work there very long as it was during apprenticeships but since I didn't usually have food to bring to school he would give me a Tupperware of fish and potato cakes most days of the week. What great kindness!
I wonder how a man develops these things on their own. I know for sure it made me want to be more generous and considerate myself, though, so that might play into it.
Hope you're having a good Lent.
I didn't work there very long as it was during apprenticeships but since I didn't usually have food to bring to school he would give me a Tupperware of fish and potato cakes most days of the week. What great kindness!
I wonder how a man develops these things on their own. I know for sure it made me want to be more generous and considerate myself, though, so that might play into it.
Hope you're having a good Lent.
Deleted User
dont know who said it but was thinking about
alcohol is such a wonderous influential invention but the second you use it to get drunk it becomes a fetishization of it's original purpose
alcohol is such a wonderous influential invention but the second you use it to get drunk it becomes a fetishization of it's original purpose
Deleted User
i dont really have much else to say or any more extensive thoughts on it i suppose, just restating it in a more obvious light but alcohol has so many uses (i.e. fuel, depressant, pain reliever, wound cleaning, electronic, etc in order of random importance) and is a fundamental proponent for greater things derived from it but like any depresssant overuse or abuse has adverse effects
something something about spamming your brain with dope or feel goods being a mind rotting thing in the long run
something about how just a drink or 2 can actually be good for you but can spiral out of control if not self monitored
i think it's just interesting
it's also a good reminder for me to use it purely as a blue moon tylenol and not for pleasure
a lot of drugs also have the same issue (duh tensu)
something something about spamming your brain with dope or feel goods being a mind rotting thing in the long run
something about how just a drink or 2 can actually be good for you but can spiral out of control if not self monitored
i think it's just interesting
it's also a good reminder for me to use it purely as a blue moon tylenol and not for pleasure
a lot of drugs also have the same issue (duh tensu)
Deleted User
entire establishments, businesses, etc dedicated to the enjoyment of the substance, not too dissimilar to something like sex (the image i have is a highly stereotypical las vegas bar thing whatever with millions of ads and vodka and booze and DRINK DRINK DRINK! culture that will rot your brain to mush)
more so things to think about rather than me actually posting about things ive thought about (i havent)
it also just straight up kills you if you ingest too much of it
more so things to think about rather than me actually posting about things ive thought about (i havent)
it also just straight up kills you if you ingest too much of it
Deleted User
a man has to wonder how ubiquitous sex and its immoralities were for the term, the most general term and verb "do it" to have such a large, commonly understood innuendo of sexual actions
isnt that fucked? why is something so general so largely (in comparison to the millions of other verbs it could mean) associated with sex? how did we get here
isnt that fucked? why is something so general so largely (in comparison to the millions of other verbs it could mean) associated with sex? how did we get here
think that moreso comes from people not wanting to point out that they’re talking about sex in beating around the bush kinda fashion
i asked because i found how you worded it interesting, i think about these things often. on a recent post in a separate thread i discussed the importance of properly understanding and practicing love for others and both of these things are prime examples of this
it is written that both alcohol and sexual gratification are wonderous gifts of god, but because the heart of man is unknowable and wicked he takes these gracious gifts and perverts them into an unrecognizable horrific parody of what they once were, to the extent that they spread only misery and death. these gifts are not evil in themselves, but rather it is man's base perversion and endless depths of depravity that makes curses out of them when he is left unfettered by discerning conviction
all gifts of pleasure, be it food, wine, or sex, become evil when they are pursued as an end in themselves rather than a consequence of love (as you've hinted at in your first post.) the delicious roast lamb and aged wine that brings mirth and fellowship to a table of family and friends will barely scrape the appetite of the glutton hoarding the lot for himself and drives the drunkard to wicked violence and worldly despair over his sorry condition. the glutton does not gorge himself for the glory of others nor does he use eating as a means to fortify his strength so that he may serve others, nor does the drunkard drink that he may brighten the countenances of his friends or to be a blessing in times of celebration. both care only for themselves and seek only how they may satisfy their appetites. there is no love in their actions
the tragedy of the contemporary addiction to sexual gratification is very complex and multifaceted, the least worrying being the immediately obvious reality that many people cannot reckon or determine their self worth exterior to it. many now both male and female see the act of sex being the ultimate expression of love, of the highest order of importance such that a relationship involving it tends to dominate their thoughts and habits that they often neglect their friends and family. it never fails to surprise the modern when he or she learns that this was not the case for the majority of human history
if you've ever heard or used the term "platonic relationship" to describe a nonsexual relationship with someone, you have been secretly practicing metaphysics without even realizing what you're doing. this language directly refers to the platonic forms, a philosophical conception that all things and ideas that emerge in the material world are sourced from nonphysical forms which exist as perfected ideas that lay outside of material reality; as a result, what we see on this earth is a composition of the mere shadows cast by those pure, perfect forms that cannot exist in our impure physical world
what then is the platonic form of love, or in plain language, the most pure idea of love that all earthly examples of love could derive from? clearly it cannot be based at all in sexual gratification or you wouldn't be able to say you love your mother without first laying with her, nor your best friend without first bedding him. every ancient religion discusses this concept, but as an example, jesus christ himself said there is no greater love than a man laying down his life for his friend. the apostle paul wrote that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, that he wished that everyone, like him, could practice wholly chaste service of god and his creation
it is immediately after this that paul admits this is an unrealistic expectation and offers grace that those greatly tempted with lust should marry that they do not fall into temptation, but does not mince words in saying this is a lesser vocation. the need for sexual gratification is a compromise in a relationship where glory may be rendered by its practice, but it is fully evident that it is indeed a negative compromise that gets in the way of the platonic form of love
in christianity, jesus christ himself is the full realization of the platonic form of love. in his saying i quoted previously he himself laid down his life for a people who hated him to the point of gory death, a sacrifice made without any expectation for reciprocation for there is no thing any other man who has ever lived could do to repay even an infinitesimally small portion of his infinite loving sacrifice. it is abundantly clear from this that true love is a work, a sacrifice made towards others where you cannot expect any reciprocation for your good works. after all, even the wicked will do good for those who do good for them
a sexual relationship is built upon the expectation of reciprocation, on top of the direct transaction of pleasures. even when done honorably and in glory this cannot be ignored, for if it were not true why would sexual gratification then be expected by both on the regular? if it were not so, the love would be of a friendly sort and not of a sexual sort. it is because of this that sexual relationships are philosophically inferior to what many diminishingly call the "platonic relationship", or what in saner times was called brotherly love. there is no greater example of perfected love on this earth than a man has for another that they may both be edified and glorify each other by their mutual respect and sacrifice
the unfortunate consequence to this mass confusion is that many are burned by their ignorances, thinking that love is some sort of vain transaction and from this they think they must be intrinsically "good enough" by whatever measure to warrant it. as a result, many are disillusioned and choose not to first offer others their sacrificial love that in so doing they may find pure-hearted people which would do likewise. when there are few who first sacrifice, many therefore are abused and may never understand these comforting truths
there is much else to be considered and concluded from this, not the least being what i consider to be a strong philosophical conviction against the practice of homosexuality based primarily on the things i have seen and experienced in conjunction with these ideas, but that would be another novel worth of writing and this post is long enough. i will however write this up some other time as i would be very interested in discussing it with those who would vehemently disagree with me on the issue
it is written that both alcohol and sexual gratification are wonderous gifts of god, but because the heart of man is unknowable and wicked he takes these gracious gifts and perverts them into an unrecognizable horrific parody of what they once were, to the extent that they spread only misery and death. these gifts are not evil in themselves, but rather it is man's base perversion and endless depths of depravity that makes curses out of them when he is left unfettered by discerning conviction
all gifts of pleasure, be it food, wine, or sex, become evil when they are pursued as an end in themselves rather than a consequence of love (as you've hinted at in your first post.) the delicious roast lamb and aged wine that brings mirth and fellowship to a table of family and friends will barely scrape the appetite of the glutton hoarding the lot for himself and drives the drunkard to wicked violence and worldly despair over his sorry condition. the glutton does not gorge himself for the glory of others nor does he use eating as a means to fortify his strength so that he may serve others, nor does the drunkard drink that he may brighten the countenances of his friends or to be a blessing in times of celebration. both care only for themselves and seek only how they may satisfy their appetites. there is no love in their actions
the tragedy of the contemporary addiction to sexual gratification is very complex and multifaceted, the least worrying being the immediately obvious reality that many people cannot reckon or determine their self worth exterior to it. many now both male and female see the act of sex being the ultimate expression of love, of the highest order of importance such that a relationship involving it tends to dominate their thoughts and habits that they often neglect their friends and family. it never fails to surprise the modern when he or she learns that this was not the case for the majority of human history
if you've ever heard or used the term "platonic relationship" to describe a nonsexual relationship with someone, you have been secretly practicing metaphysics without even realizing what you're doing. this language directly refers to the platonic forms, a philosophical conception that all things and ideas that emerge in the material world are sourced from nonphysical forms which exist as perfected ideas that lay outside of material reality; as a result, what we see on this earth is a composition of the mere shadows cast by those pure, perfect forms that cannot exist in our impure physical world
what then is the platonic form of love, or in plain language, the most pure idea of love that all earthly examples of love could derive from? clearly it cannot be based at all in sexual gratification or you wouldn't be able to say you love your mother without first laying with her, nor your best friend without first bedding him. every ancient religion discusses this concept, but as an example, jesus christ himself said there is no greater love than a man laying down his life for his friend. the apostle paul wrote that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, that he wished that everyone, like him, could practice wholly chaste service of god and his creation
it is immediately after this that paul admits this is an unrealistic expectation and offers grace that those greatly tempted with lust should marry that they do not fall into temptation, but does not mince words in saying this is a lesser vocation. the need for sexual gratification is a compromise in a relationship where glory may be rendered by its practice, but it is fully evident that it is indeed a negative compromise that gets in the way of the platonic form of love
in christianity, jesus christ himself is the full realization of the platonic form of love. in his saying i quoted previously he himself laid down his life for a people who hated him to the point of gory death, a sacrifice made without any expectation for reciprocation for there is no thing any other man who has ever lived could do to repay even an infinitesimally small portion of his infinite loving sacrifice. it is abundantly clear from this that true love is a work, a sacrifice made towards others where you cannot expect any reciprocation for your good works. after all, even the wicked will do good for those who do good for them
a sexual relationship is built upon the expectation of reciprocation, on top of the direct transaction of pleasures. even when done honorably and in glory this cannot be ignored, for if it were not true why would sexual gratification then be expected by both on the regular? if it were not so, the love would be of a friendly sort and not of a sexual sort. it is because of this that sexual relationships are philosophically inferior to what many diminishingly call the "platonic relationship", or what in saner times was called brotherly love. there is no greater example of perfected love on this earth than a man has for another that they may both be edified and glorify each other by their mutual respect and sacrifice
the unfortunate consequence to this mass confusion is that many are burned by their ignorances, thinking that love is some sort of vain transaction and from this they think they must be intrinsically "good enough" by whatever measure to warrant it. as a result, many are disillusioned and choose not to first offer others their sacrificial love that in so doing they may find pure-hearted people which would do likewise. when there are few who first sacrifice, many therefore are abused and may never understand these comforting truths
there is much else to be considered and concluded from this, not the least being what i consider to be a strong philosophical conviction against the practice of homosexuality based primarily on the things i have seen and experienced in conjunction with these ideas, but that would be another novel worth of writing and this post is long enough. i will however write this up some other time as i would be very interested in discussing it with those who would vehemently disagree with me on the issue
in posting the following ideas i would first like to make several things clear before beginning, both that you may better understand my position in reasoning these things and also that you will not be so quick to make excuses or dismiss ideas contrary to your own outright. as i said earlier, i am very interested in discussing these ideas with those who disagree with them
this being said, however, i am wholly uninterested in analyzing this from a political or statistical perspective as so many discussing this waste their time doing. i do not inform my actions from politics or statistics, but rather from direct experience and philosophical consideration, and as such do not waste my time dealing with the political; further, i think the question of homosexuality is primarily a philosophical one rather than a political one. if there is anyone on this forum that would most prefer the conclusions i have reached here to be different, it would without a doubt be me. the only person i can say i've felt truly romantic feelings for in my life was a man, and even a feminine man is a better farmhand than a woman -- i just happen to know myself well enough at this point to separate my own selfish desires from my attempts to seek truth. keep this in mind as you consider the following
in continuing from the ideas presented in the previous post, i will begin by restating that the signs of true love in a man are evidenced in his sacrifices for others. the purest form of this is when these sacrifices are made freely without the expectation of reciprocation from those blessed by them, but i would not go so far as to say that in expecting reciprocation you are without love; however, the expectation of reciprocation can very easily lead to spite and malice over time which is the potential danger of such expectations. i have not seen this manifest anywhere else as often as i have with romantic relationships, especially ones in which there is an active sexual component: everyone sees this happen so blatantly in these times and yet i very rarely see anyone drawing conclusions from so often seeing love turn to hatred. it is not a coincidence, but rather a symptom of selfishness
although a sexual relationship will always have the expectation of sexual reciprocation formed into its foundation, the glory in such a relationship comes first from the loving sacrifices made by each towards one another in much the same way as in a nonsexual relationship. but even further, the relationship is drawn closest to the platonic ideal by the bringing forth of new life by the consequence of those same sexual relations in its very foundation, the sacrificial consequence from the lesser expectation of sexual reciprocation: children
especially in these wonderful times we're unfortunately bound to, i don't need to tell you that the purity of a pair's love is tried to the breaking point by the sacrifices required to raise children. those who could not even bring themselves to understand the sacrificial nature of love in their own sexual relationship bring the consequences of this selfish behavior tenfold on their children, the irrevocable reminder of their moral and philosophical failures in what was the easy portion of the trial. given how frequently i've met people coming to age very poorly adjusted in almost every area and aspect of life, including me, this is a frightening indicator that the great mass of humanity must beware of carrying forward the cycle of abuse impressed on them by circumstance
given how poorly the heterosexual order has been doing with rearing well adjusted children for the last few generations, it is not surprising to me that as this abusive cycle continues to compound there is a greater and greater pressure towards incredible selfishness in each successive generation of youth. chief among this i see the blatant increase in the prevalence of homosexual behavior, and of effeminacy, and of blind pleasure-seeking by all sexual persuasions. this is a horrific, terrible portent and unless this is discussed openly i greatly fear for what is yet to come by the end of my own lifetime
i have yet to see a single stable homosexual relationship in my own life, and this is not surprising to me. to enter a homosexual relationship is almost always to indulge in the exchange of pleasures without a mind towards the future, and this is evidenced to me by the majority of homosexuals i know and have known can hardly see past the ends of their noses, let alone decades into the future. i always without failure see unhealthy amounts of selfishness on even small matters to the end that in many cases i cannot understand how these couples can stand each other when not in the bedroom, even within mere months of starting to date
when i consider my own homosexual tendencies, i am always left thinking about my childhood. being alone often with my parents always working stunted my social development by several years, which i somewhat managed to begin remedying by seeking employment at a young age. as a result, a majority of my early positive social interactions that formed a simulacra imprinted onto my future relationships were of the pseudo-masculine transactional environments which compose the world of business. i write 'pseudo-masculine' because though the office environment is not necessarily effeminate intrinsically, it would be incredibly foolish to call it masculine at all; in effect, you're left with this castrated, sterile environment which expects vain shadows of masculine sacrifices for no greater reason or purpose
not being close to my mother or sister left me with no reference point to understand women, and given my reclusive nature in school this was not supplemented until it was much too late. i only really ever dealt with boys or men, and a majority of that was purely transactional in nature. as a result, i tend to get quickly frustrated and annoyed with women for reasons that someone who is actually well-adjusted would be able to at least somewhat empathize with. i've spent a vast majority of my adult life trying to undo these two issues emerging from a stunted youth, and while i have had substantial success in undoing the feeling that my entire worth comes from wealth and its transaction, i have had significantly less success in trying to empathize with women. while i can easily be friends with women, every time i've tried bringing them in from an arm's length into a romantic relationship i just end up aggravated and end up calling it off, every time from a lack of empathy on my part. even recently i have still failed in this, but fortunately i caught myself before i let things develop too far
it should not be surprising then that i have engaged in homosexual relationships at several points, most times a result of being encouraged by people i should have known better than to take advice from. every single attempt ended in such a miserable wreck to the extent that i have no desire to recall any specifically, but rather i will just draw conclusions. my statements earlier about homosexual relationships are secondarily from witnessing them, but firstly having lived them. even in the single instance i hinted at in the foreword to this writing in which i felt a true romantic attachment and saw the evidences of sacrificial love with him, it was the lack of a meaningful future from it which caused me to end it
in having begun working early in a specialized field i became very used to taking control of my circumstances early, which has in turn made me behave more dominantly in most areas of my life. being something that i have been forced to deal with i noticed, especially when i was significantly less outwardly masculine than i am now, that i tended to attract effeminate men very easily. in saying the following i don't intend to mean that every man needs to be a BIG BEEFY STUD MUFFIN by any means, but there is definitely an issue with the great prevalence of effeminate, unhealthily submissive men that are looking for absolutely any stable bastion to begin founding their understanding of life on. being in the dominant role in all of these relationships i saw this exact same thing repeated every single time, just dressed up in different clothing
to be healthily submissive is not being utterly confused by everything and expecting someone else to be your rock and come up with answers for you; rather, this behavior is an attempt to rectify the cycle of abuse by blindly trusting another person to answer the questions you are too afraid to ask. a healthy submission is in trusting the intent of someone you love but at the same time having seen and read things of your own, and not being afraid of posing even fundamental objections to their intent in a loving way. i only saw this exhibited once, in the one relationship i hinted at, and even then when fully manifested in a proper way over a good deal of time i was left with just one question:
why am i in a sexual relationship with this person?
this seems like a stupid question if you misunderstand the purpose of love, but in every way i could figure it was overall stunting to this man's personal development by continuing in a sexual relationship. although i was certainly helpful in helping him orient and see what life could be, what good would come from continuing in this? he would just keep leaning on me and expecting me to lead, but i couldn't understand how this could be a healthy thing for him. i could have had the same effect in just being a good friend, but now i'm in a position where the fullness of seeing these things was harmed by his reliance on my guidance and provisions: the sexual aspect was getting in the way of a true love for this man, as i discussed in the first post. every counterargument i had to this was just a result of my own selfishness in enjoying the sex, so i ended it
this didn't end well and obviously i have not spoken to this person since, a consequence that would have been easily avoided if the sexual aspect was left out. it saddened me especially because i truly loved him, but not being able to actually see a future in this behavior was driving me to drink heavily. specifically, i was bothered by the idea that even if we were to adopt children at some point, the children would still have no proper mother figure in their lives and in turn would be much more likely to repeat the consequences of the same cycle of abuse that caused my own social issues, not even to mention signalling to others that such a relationship is acceptable and does not come with many severe philosophical and ethical compromises
to summarize, i really don't think it's possible to have a homosexual relationship in a way that is not inherently selfish. even in the circumstances where the pair are exhibiting loving sacrifice for each other, the sexual aspect has no sacrificial component to it which makes me doubt if such a thing could even be called love. in endorsing relationship behaviors that are inherently selfish, we perpetuate the cycle of abuse which has caused so much unnecessary suffering in these times, and such a thing is something that tends to only get worse and worse until we truly sit down and are willing to be honest with ourselves, even if it is extremely painful and brings us to conclusions we don't want to consider
this is all my opinion of course. what do you all have to say about this matter?
this being said, however, i am wholly uninterested in analyzing this from a political or statistical perspective as so many discussing this waste their time doing. i do not inform my actions from politics or statistics, but rather from direct experience and philosophical consideration, and as such do not waste my time dealing with the political; further, i think the question of homosexuality is primarily a philosophical one rather than a political one. if there is anyone on this forum that would most prefer the conclusions i have reached here to be different, it would without a doubt be me. the only person i can say i've felt truly romantic feelings for in my life was a man, and even a feminine man is a better farmhand than a woman -- i just happen to know myself well enough at this point to separate my own selfish desires from my attempts to seek truth. keep this in mind as you consider the following
in continuing from the ideas presented in the previous post, i will begin by restating that the signs of true love in a man are evidenced in his sacrifices for others. the purest form of this is when these sacrifices are made freely without the expectation of reciprocation from those blessed by them, but i would not go so far as to say that in expecting reciprocation you are without love; however, the expectation of reciprocation can very easily lead to spite and malice over time which is the potential danger of such expectations. i have not seen this manifest anywhere else as often as i have with romantic relationships, especially ones in which there is an active sexual component: everyone sees this happen so blatantly in these times and yet i very rarely see anyone drawing conclusions from so often seeing love turn to hatred. it is not a coincidence, but rather a symptom of selfishness
although a sexual relationship will always have the expectation of sexual reciprocation formed into its foundation, the glory in such a relationship comes first from the loving sacrifices made by each towards one another in much the same way as in a nonsexual relationship. but even further, the relationship is drawn closest to the platonic ideal by the bringing forth of new life by the consequence of those same sexual relations in its very foundation, the sacrificial consequence from the lesser expectation of sexual reciprocation: children
especially in these wonderful times we're unfortunately bound to, i don't need to tell you that the purity of a pair's love is tried to the breaking point by the sacrifices required to raise children. those who could not even bring themselves to understand the sacrificial nature of love in their own sexual relationship bring the consequences of this selfish behavior tenfold on their children, the irrevocable reminder of their moral and philosophical failures in what was the easy portion of the trial. given how frequently i've met people coming to age very poorly adjusted in almost every area and aspect of life, including me, this is a frightening indicator that the great mass of humanity must beware of carrying forward the cycle of abuse impressed on them by circumstance
given how poorly the heterosexual order has been doing with rearing well adjusted children for the last few generations, it is not surprising to me that as this abusive cycle continues to compound there is a greater and greater pressure towards incredible selfishness in each successive generation of youth. chief among this i see the blatant increase in the prevalence of homosexual behavior, and of effeminacy, and of blind pleasure-seeking by all sexual persuasions. this is a horrific, terrible portent and unless this is discussed openly i greatly fear for what is yet to come by the end of my own lifetime
i have yet to see a single stable homosexual relationship in my own life, and this is not surprising to me. to enter a homosexual relationship is almost always to indulge in the exchange of pleasures without a mind towards the future, and this is evidenced to me by the majority of homosexuals i know and have known can hardly see past the ends of their noses, let alone decades into the future. i always without failure see unhealthy amounts of selfishness on even small matters to the end that in many cases i cannot understand how these couples can stand each other when not in the bedroom, even within mere months of starting to date
when i consider my own homosexual tendencies, i am always left thinking about my childhood. being alone often with my parents always working stunted my social development by several years, which i somewhat managed to begin remedying by seeking employment at a young age. as a result, a majority of my early positive social interactions that formed a simulacra imprinted onto my future relationships were of the pseudo-masculine transactional environments which compose the world of business. i write 'pseudo-masculine' because though the office environment is not necessarily effeminate intrinsically, it would be incredibly foolish to call it masculine at all; in effect, you're left with this castrated, sterile environment which expects vain shadows of masculine sacrifices for no greater reason or purpose
not being close to my mother or sister left me with no reference point to understand women, and given my reclusive nature in school this was not supplemented until it was much too late. i only really ever dealt with boys or men, and a majority of that was purely transactional in nature. as a result, i tend to get quickly frustrated and annoyed with women for reasons that someone who is actually well-adjusted would be able to at least somewhat empathize with. i've spent a vast majority of my adult life trying to undo these two issues emerging from a stunted youth, and while i have had substantial success in undoing the feeling that my entire worth comes from wealth and its transaction, i have had significantly less success in trying to empathize with women. while i can easily be friends with women, every time i've tried bringing them in from an arm's length into a romantic relationship i just end up aggravated and end up calling it off, every time from a lack of empathy on my part. even recently i have still failed in this, but fortunately i caught myself before i let things develop too far
it should not be surprising then that i have engaged in homosexual relationships at several points, most times a result of being encouraged by people i should have known better than to take advice from. every single attempt ended in such a miserable wreck to the extent that i have no desire to recall any specifically, but rather i will just draw conclusions. my statements earlier about homosexual relationships are secondarily from witnessing them, but firstly having lived them. even in the single instance i hinted at in the foreword to this writing in which i felt a true romantic attachment and saw the evidences of sacrificial love with him, it was the lack of a meaningful future from it which caused me to end it
in having begun working early in a specialized field i became very used to taking control of my circumstances early, which has in turn made me behave more dominantly in most areas of my life. being something that i have been forced to deal with i noticed, especially when i was significantly less outwardly masculine than i am now, that i tended to attract effeminate men very easily. in saying the following i don't intend to mean that every man needs to be a BIG BEEFY STUD MUFFIN by any means, but there is definitely an issue with the great prevalence of effeminate, unhealthily submissive men that are looking for absolutely any stable bastion to begin founding their understanding of life on. being in the dominant role in all of these relationships i saw this exact same thing repeated every single time, just dressed up in different clothing
to be healthily submissive is not being utterly confused by everything and expecting someone else to be your rock and come up with answers for you; rather, this behavior is an attempt to rectify the cycle of abuse by blindly trusting another person to answer the questions you are too afraid to ask. a healthy submission is in trusting the intent of someone you love but at the same time having seen and read things of your own, and not being afraid of posing even fundamental objections to their intent in a loving way. i only saw this exhibited once, in the one relationship i hinted at, and even then when fully manifested in a proper way over a good deal of time i was left with just one question:
why am i in a sexual relationship with this person?
this seems like a stupid question if you misunderstand the purpose of love, but in every way i could figure it was overall stunting to this man's personal development by continuing in a sexual relationship. although i was certainly helpful in helping him orient and see what life could be, what good would come from continuing in this? he would just keep leaning on me and expecting me to lead, but i couldn't understand how this could be a healthy thing for him. i could have had the same effect in just being a good friend, but now i'm in a position where the fullness of seeing these things was harmed by his reliance on my guidance and provisions: the sexual aspect was getting in the way of a true love for this man, as i discussed in the first post. every counterargument i had to this was just a result of my own selfishness in enjoying the sex, so i ended it
this didn't end well and obviously i have not spoken to this person since, a consequence that would have been easily avoided if the sexual aspect was left out. it saddened me especially because i truly loved him, but not being able to actually see a future in this behavior was driving me to drink heavily. specifically, i was bothered by the idea that even if we were to adopt children at some point, the children would still have no proper mother figure in their lives and in turn would be much more likely to repeat the consequences of the same cycle of abuse that caused my own social issues, not even to mention signalling to others that such a relationship is acceptable and does not come with many severe philosophical and ethical compromises
to summarize, i really don't think it's possible to have a homosexual relationship in a way that is not inherently selfish. even in the circumstances where the pair are exhibiting loving sacrifice for each other, the sexual aspect has no sacrificial component to it which makes me doubt if such a thing could even be called love. in endorsing relationship behaviors that are inherently selfish, we perpetuate the cycle of abuse which has caused so much unnecessary suffering in these times, and such a thing is something that tends to only get worse and worse until we truly sit down and are willing to be honest with ourselves, even if it is extremely painful and brings us to conclusions we don't want to consider
this is all my opinion of course. what do you all have to say about this matter?
Deleted User
Really thankful for that even when I'm having a shitty day or something I can come on here and say something stupid like "flashwave fat" and brighten up as I watch it bounce off others, and while it I don't mean to say this is the reason I come on or something I can appreciate Flashii being there for me. Not really sure how to word it.