had a nightmare out of nowhere that was just me getting scared awake by a huge explosion and shockwave in the street. it felt like the shockwave would make me straight up fall out of my bed. immediately afterwards i got stuck in sleep paralasys and went in and out of consciousness to the sound of a tank roaring through the neighborhood firing off shots. i could literally not tell when the dream ended and i "actually" woke up other than remembering to pinch my nose and trying to breathe through it as check. im always amazed at how freaky sleep paralasys and false awakening's are. never had both together at the same time through. crazy shit.

tonight i saw pope john paul Ⅱ making placki ziemniaczane. i woke up before i could try them

i was in a really big museum full of bones from dinosaurs and dead people but all the patrons at the museum were sorting through all the bones and eating the ones they liked. i kept trying to tell people to stop eating bones but they would reply that there was nothing i could do about it. this sounds like a short dream but i promise you it felt like an eternity

had my first midsummer snow dream last night, though unfortunately i did not write it down immediately after waking up so i've forgotten most of it already. from my vague recollection i can recall being on a long journey by foot and stoping at several houses along the way, but there was a feeling of foreboding doom that i could not discern until at one of the last houses i looked outside and saw a blizzard that had already buried the earth in a deep snow while my back was turned

i tend to interpret dreams involving snow during the summer months as a sort of portent that describes a certain languishing of my subconscious about the current state of things, particularly in this case my frustrations with being caught up in so many things (yet again p:) this year that i've hardly been able to improve the land at all, constantly being away helping others or doing work. a more pressing interpretation, however, regards the lingering feeling of dread throughout the dream and the sudden appearance of snow everywhere while my back was turned, swallowing everything i was just familiar with in an instant. the long, harsh winters here are an ever-present reminder of the inevitability of both change and death, and especially of change arising through death. no man decides when the year's first blizzard will come, but every man must face its freezing embrace whether he is ready for it or not. as i continue to age and time continues to pass on and on irrespective of my place in it, i've been forced more and more to meditate on this reality and reconcile it with my desire for comfortable constancy and stability, my desire for linearity in intention and in goals

those mortifying words of solomon in the second chapter of his reflections on his own life have haunted me these five years, but at last i feel as though i am beginning to disabuse myself of the naive assumptions that i unknowingly came here with; however, even now i am still mocked subconsciously by the conscious deterioration of the idealism i once had in throwing everything away and starting anew, that mockery appearing to me in the form of these damned midsummer snow dreams. the day that i dream of snow without the lingering dread will be the day that i am certain that through philosophy i have wholly conquered these childish preconceptions, and ultimately the fear of death altogether through sanctification of the mind and body

i just woke up from a dream where my sister and her boyfriend were playing a sanrio version of pokemon rumble/pokepark where cinnamon hello kitty kuromi and banjo were the playable characters for some reason. and just before it ended thhey found the jiggies and the jingles played too

this time i wsa taking a really pretty bus/school bus/train ride thing down to somewhere in South America but as we approached this stop for some reason I recognized the place (maybe from previous dreams) and it kinda reminded me of orgrimmar world of warcraft. i walked towards the back of the bus and out the window i saw a proana mentally unwell-presenting cracjhead dual wielding some revolvers and he shot at the windows shattering glass everywhere and i c ould actually feel the tiny shards poking in my skin and it hurt : (.

he ended up entering the bus and i hid under the seat in front of me and his left arm was hanging low enough that i could grab a gun from him and shoot him point blank but i missed somehow but its ok because he was apprehended by some other people right after. after failing to shoot the other gun the proana was like what happened to my bullets and if you checked inside the chamber there were just minecraft sasddles and carrots in some of the slots and like a film it cut to a guy saying yeah i did that. and then the bus ended up turning back around and iwas still pulling glass shards out of my arm and for some reason we went to my home town and i ate coconut shrimp for dinner with my family and the end.

coconut shrimp wow

i had one of those sleep paralysis dreams but instead of seeing a demon and not being able to move from my bed, i was listening to the microsoft teams call sound coming from my work computer

an even worse nightmare